Twenty local people with loved ones buried at Llanfoist Cemetery staged a protest on Tuesday over a council request to clear the ‘grave spaces’ of ornaments and mementoes to enable workmen to carry out maintenance work .

Abergavenny resident Debbie Norman, whose sister is buried there, says she was ‘devastated’ to receive the letter from Monmouthshire County Council’s cemeteries officer and launched an online petition last week, which to date has received 319 signatures and 105 comments from across the UK.

The letter asks for ‘all unpermitted tributes, plants, bushes, pots, vases etc on the grave space to be cleared away by Sunday 14th May 2017’ adding that ‘any items remaining will be moved to the head of the grave or removed by MCC operatives and kept in a safe place (for two months after this date) ready for collection by a family member’.

Debbie told the Chronicle that her sister Jane, who suffered from spin bifida, died at the age of 36 in 2004. Her grave is marked with a granite headstone and a heart-shaped vase.

“Being told that everything had to be removed from the grave broke my heart because my children and I go there every week to lay flowers and keep the grass tidy.

“For the past 13 years we’ve been regularly maintaining the grave ourselves and every January we re-turf it. We do it ourselves because the council don’t maintain the area properly.

“We’ve seen other graves where the grass has just been strimmed and left scattered on top, getting stuck on the headstones as it dries and making a real mess.

“I’ve been told our grave isn’t a problem but that other families are placing more items on theirs. But I feel everyone grieves differently. Putting mementoes on graves is a way of coping and many of these people tend to the graves themselves like we do.

“I know a lot of other people are disgusted by the letter. One lady told me that her father had taken it very hard when her mother died last year and the letter had set him back months.

“I’ve filled in a complaints form which I’ve submitted to the cemeteries officer and I have also organised the online Facebook petition and the protest at the cemetery today.

“It means so much to us. My sister Jane was a big part of our lives.”

Sallyanne and Bethan Lewis, whose brother Barry John is buried at the cemetery, say they’ve asked Monmouth MP David Davies to support the cause.

“The council letter really upset our mother because the grave is the only place she can go to grieve,” said Sallyanne.

“Members of our family visit the grave every week, sometimes more than once. We have two stone pots there and a black vase in the middle. We maintain the grave regularly and don’t want the council moving anything.

“We can’t put the pots next to the headstone because they’d be in the way of the neighbouring plot.

“We move the vases ourselves when we cut the grass, then put them back. And when WE cut the grass we tidy it all up afterwards!”

The protestors on Tuesday morning also included Ricky Smith, father of rugby player Lewis Smith who tragically died of a heart attack in January 2011 shortly after playing for Abergavenny RFC’s 2nd XV.

Responding to protest, an MCC spokesperson told the Chronicle, “We are sorry to hear that people are unhappy about a letter they have received from us. We understand that grief is a terrible experience and would not want to cause anyone distress.

“In Monmouthshire we have created beautiful places for everyone to remember the people they have lost. Everyone who visits graves is very welcome to personalise the space at the head of the grave e.g. with pots and other items.

“As such, we have not asked anyone to remove items but rather to ensure they are situated so the remainder of the grave space is clear to allow consistent grass cutting and topping work to be conducted.

“We are happy to talk to anyone affected.”

Debbie Norman said she was not satisfied with the response and that everyone at the protest was planning to submit a complaints form to the council.

“Over the years we have placed different items on my sister’s grave like balloons but now we just have a single pot and use a memory box to store our mementoes.

“The pot is too big to place next to the headstone. It’s been there 13 years and I’m not moving it.

“It’s obvious which of the graves need clearing, possibly because the families don’t live in the area and can’t tend to them regularly.

“Why can’t the council just tidy up those and leave the ones that are being looked after alone?”

Facebook comments supporting the local campaign are growing.

Among them, Tanya Edwards from Abergavenny wrote, “ It’s bad enough losing a loved one. I should know I’ve lost my mum and dad. I have an extra bit added to mum’s grave for me to place extra flowers. It should be up the person what they have. I certainly wouldn’t be moving mine and no-one should have to move (tributes to) their loved ones either.”

And Julie Thatcher from Birmingham said, “People should be allowed to put whatever they want on a loved one’s grave. If they are looking after it I don’t see what the problem is.”