A BRAND new sports club has opened its doors in Abergavenny and is keen to recruit any local people who are keen to get fit and chase rainbows.

The Abergavenny Rainbow Chasing Club does exactly what it said on the tin. Its members chase rainbows whilst burning calories and pounding pavements at the same time.

The club may sound like something of a joke, but it’s founder, semi-professional long-distance runner, Johnny Turnip, believes it’s just what Abergavenny needs to get off the couch and in shape.

Turnip who has awarded himself the title of Chief Rainbow Commander told the Chronicle, “I’m on a mission pal and that mission is to streamline Abergavenny. I love this town but to my mind the dear old duck has become far too flabby around the edges for comfort.”

Turnip added, “As an aggressive athlete of some 20 years, I know how hard it is to get lazy bleeders and Facebook fantasists off their flatulent behind and into the gym. Here’s the thing. Turnip doesn’t do gyms. I’m no body fascist but I do like a flawless and tight hot bod. And to put it bluntly, there’s far too many porkers in this town for someone like me to sleep easy at night. I want to help change it and I sincerely believe chasing rainbows is the way forward.”

Explaining the innovative approach behind his new club, Turnip barked, “What happens is, we wait for the ideal conditions for a rainbow to be formed and then we move. When one of those brightly coloured arches appears in the skies one of the members will give me a call and ask for permission for the group to assemble and go on on a rainbow chase. Obviously no-one in the group can chase rainbows without my express permission, but once I give the green light it’s all systems go.”

Johnny aded, “It really is a sight to behold when Turnip’s tykes flood the town in all their pomp and glory, chasing rainbows like their lives depended upon it. Obviously any rainbows outside of a ten mile radius are off limits. We believe in keeping things local.”

When asked if he believes the group will take off, Turnip snapped, “I can’t see why not pal, I’ve been chasing rainbows all my life and it certainly hasn’t done me any harm.”

If you’re interested in joining Mr Turnip’s new club, his contact details can be found at the end of the nearest rainbow.