WHEN Sharon Lewis

stunned guests at the

launch of Abergavenny's

Breakinout Festival by

announcing that she was

an alcoholic and drug

addict there was an audible

gasp in the room, for

few realised that the

woman who was the driving

force behind such

successes as the

Abergavenny X-Mas

Factor had her own very

personal reasons for the

work she does with

young people in the area.

In this frank interview

she speaks to Chronicle

editor Liz Davies about

her long battle with

drink and drugs and how

she hopes her experiences

can have a positive

outcome.

FIVE years ago

Sharon Lewis was, by her

own admission, as low as

she could get. Described

by her doctor as a 'chronic

alcoholic who would

never go a day without a

drink' she spent most of

her time cloistered in a

darkened room of her

Pandy home, leaving

only to make the seven

minute drive to the nearest

off licence.

Today, Sharon has dramatically

turned her life

around and is now dedicating

her time and energy

to ensuring that other

young people have a

chance to avoid making

the mistakes which led

her to the brink of death

on countless occasions.

Born into a comfortable

background - her

father is successful businessman

and her mother

a well known chef whose

work has taken into some

of the grandest homes in

Britain - Sharon traces

back her addictions to her

school days in Bristol.

"I went to public

school and I think it was

there that my problems

probably started,"

explained Sharon.

"I was dyslexic and I

was often bullied in class,

so I worked on avoidance

techniques which would

get me out of going. I

found that if I said I was

ill I could miss classes so

I worked on all sorts of

ways of convincing the

school matron that I was

sick. I'd stick hot food

under my tongue to make

the temperature rise on

the thermometer and on

one occasion put it on a

hot radiator, which gave

everyone a fright as the

temperature shot off the

scale and I had to admit

to the nurse that I was

alright.

As her misery grew

Sharon discovered that

the class clown was

rarely bullied and so

developed a new role for

herself.

"I became the kid who

was always in trouble or

doing something she

shouldn't. We all tried

smoking and although it

always made me feel sick

I carried on doing it and

would always be the one

who took the blame when

we were caught. I thought

that if I took the blame

for the others they would

like me so I carried on

and did more and more

stupid things."

It was while she was at

school that Sharon had

the first taste of the alcohol

which was to blight

her life for more than two

decades.

"Someone brought a

bottle of Stella in and

being me I had to have a

drink. Suddenly everything

changed because

when I'd been drinking I

could suddenly cope with

all the things that I couldn't

deal with under normal

circumstances," she

explained.

"I thought that I had

found the cure to all my

problems but in reality it

was the start of even

more."

By the age of 16

Sharon had left school -

"I wasn't expelled but I

was told I wasn't welcome

back," she laughed

demonstrating the vein of

humour which peppers

the story of her addictions.

Having been bitten by

the acting bug and

already been in contention

for a film role, she

decided that the career

path would take her into

the Arts and opted to

study drama at college at

Usk and Cross Keys.

It was while at college

that Sharon, who was still

drinking socially, 'experimented'

with drugs for

the first time.

"It was absolutely

wonderful. I went to my

first rave and took

Ecstasy for the first time

and went from marijuana

to the next level of drugs.

People talk a lot about

drugs but what they don't

tell you is that when

you're doing it it feels

wonderful. I had never

experienced anything like

it. You love everyone and

everyone loves you...but

then it wears off."

Despite her growing

addictions to drink and

now drugs, Sharon's acting

talent was still blossoming

and when she

was 18 she won a place at

the acclaimed Italia Conti

Academy of Theatre

Arts.

"I had an amazing

opportunity but I completely

wasted it. It was

one of those 'Sliding

Doors' moments in my

life, when I could have

made a different choice

and gone down a completely

different route"

said Sharon. "As usual

with me I took the wrong

door," she added.

"Where most kids of

my age would have seen

getting in to Italia Conti

as an amazing opportunity,

I just saw it as an

amazing opportunity to

get to London and go to

as many clubs as I could."

"Where most people

would go to a club on

Friday or Saturday and

spend Sunday recovering

I would go to a night club

on Friday, an all day club

on Saturday, another

night club on Saturday

night and then repeat the

whole thing on Sunday. I

don't think I ever got into

college on a Monday

morning in all the time I

was there.

"For me this was a crucial

point because it really

set the course for the

next part of my life

because as a result of my

time in the clubs I got

involved in the drum and

bass scene in London."

Closely associated

with the ecstasy-fuelled

rave scene drum and bass

with its glamorising of

the underground world of

drink and dugs appealed

to Sharon's sense of

adventure and she found

herself offered work in a

London club.

"I really felt that I was

in with the 'in-crowd' -

but in fact I was being

influenced to move in all

the wrong directions by

the DJs and MCs who

were idolised by us all

and who would push and

push us to 'take the next

pill' or 'have another

drink'."

Fortunately for Sharon

her association with the

drum and bass scene didn't

last long - "let's face it

nothing I did lasted for

long in those days" she

says again demonstrating

the brutal honesty which

has helped her face her

demons head on.

After leaving Italia

Conti she moved around

London 'a lot' often to

escape the destructive

and sometimes violent

relationships she found

herself in. After one particularly

unhappy period

she fled to her Uncle and

Auntie's home.

"I turned up at their

house and couldn't stop

crying so I was taken off

to the doctor who diagnosed

depression. I then

spend the next year moving

around from one family

member to another

trying to sort myself out.

I think I went into

Talygarn - a mental

health unit at Pontypool -

for the first time around

this stage and while I

managed to regain my

strength with the help of

my family the problem

was I really didn't want

to take help from anyone...

looking back I just

wasn't ready to stop,"

said Sharon, who adds

that her biggest regret is

the pain and suffering she

caused to her family and

friends.

Back on her feet and

ready to face the world

after a year away, Sharon

found a job doing a summer

season, which set her

back on the destructive

course she had struggled

to escape.

"I couldn't have found

a worse thing to do

because summer season

is just an endless round of

wild parties and drinking

and of course as I was

still being the class clown

I had to get more drunk

and more badly behaved

than anyone else there as

I struggled to please people.

If ayone was going to

get drunk and dance on

the table you can bet it

would be me.

"I can't believe that I

managed to hold down so

many good jobs during

this time because I did so

many stupid things. On

one occasion I had throat

problems and I was told

that a glass of Port before

a show would help. Being

me, I drank the whole

bottle. Nobody knew

whether it helped my

voice because I fell off the

stage before I got to

sing!"

With her theatrical

career and another failed

relationship effectively

behind her Sharon

returned to Wales and

after a foray into the

world of newspaper sales,

started a Newport based

magazine with a group of

friends.

It was then that the

realisation slowly began

to dawn on her that her

drinking, which had for

so long being a peoplepleasing

ploy, had

become a serious problem.

"I was only drinking

after noon and then someone

told me that it would

only be a matter of time

before I would pick up a

bottle in the morning and

that was almost like giving

me permission to do

just that," she said.

Until that point

Sharon's average day had

consisted of three bottles

of wine a night and a few

drinks with lunch but

within a short time her

drinking had escalated

dramatically to the point

she couldn't leave the

house without her morning

vodka.

"Everyone around me

could see that I was in

trouble except me. I

couldn't see that I had a

problem or that I was

causing problems. I was

making mistakes at work

and feeling bad about it

then drinking to make

myself feel better - it really

was a car crash waiting

to happen."

"For me drinking was a

full time job. I got to the

stage where I knew all the

off licences and visited

them in rotation thinking

that they wouldn't

remember me.

"When I bought my

vodka I would make elaborate

excuses to justify

myself to the shopkeeper.

I'd be so excited just buying

it that I would have a

drink in the car before I

could go anywhere.

"I was lying to myself

and to everyone else. I

told myself that a litre of

vodka was enough for the

day but it never was...

"My idea of a glamorous

day at that time was

to close the curtains and

stay in my house all day

drinking vodka... then I'd

end up ringing people and

causing absolute havoc!"

With Sharon's life spiralling

seemingly out of

control her family once

again stepped in and she

was admitted to the Priory

- a facility more associated

with celebrity addicts,

but which Sharon cites as

setting her on the first step

to recovery - although she

was hardly the perfect

patient.

"I escaped!" says

Sharon with a grin.

"I kept my credit card,

which you're not supposed

to do and on the

third day I found a way

out and found an off

licence where I could buy

vodka. Of course because

of all the medication I'd

been given I was found

out." she said.

"The problem is, I

would always find a way

to drink because I would

lie and manipulate my

way around things.The

Priory is an amazing

place - it's like a cocoon

with people from all

walks of life not just the

celebrities you think of,"

she explained.

"I met an amazing doctor

while I was there. He

seemed to have a real

insight into what life was

like for me...for all of us

who were fighting addictions.

When we were

ready to leave he told us

that he knew what it was

like for us because he was

an addict himself. We all

realised immediately that

was why he got us - he'd

been there before so he

knew exactly what it was

like and could see things

from the other side."

Once away from the

cocoon of the Priory

Sharon returned to Wales

determined to embrace

life as a 'county girl" but

despite the wax jacket and

the wellies she bought in

preparation for her new

life she was all too aware

that her new found sobriety

was not to be trusted.

Living with hermother,

private chef Penny Lewis,

who ranks members of

the royal family and

celebrities as her clients,

she found herself left

alone for much of the

time as her mother

worked all over the country

and soon found herself

giving in to the call of

the bottle.

" I couldn't wait for my

mother to go away so that

I could get back to drinking,"

said Sharon. "She

tried to hide her booze

from me but I would

always find it, drink it and

try to replace it before she

got back."

It was during this time

that Sharon hit rock bottom.

"I was a nightmare,"

she says frankly,

"I'd lost a lot of my

friends, was destroying

my family and was on the

road to killing myself -

even the doctors had

washed their hands of me.

My family was told that I

was a chronic alcoholic

who would never go a day

without a drink and while

everyone was trying desperately

to fix me I just

couldn't see a way to fixing

myself."

On first name terms

with local ambulance drivers

and hospital staff,

Sharon lost count of how

many times she was raced

to hospital having overdosed

on either alcohol or

pills.

"It was mainly drink

with me but I'd take drugs

if I had the chance. I'd

tried every cure there was

from Antabuse to therapy

but I aways went back to

the drink. I'd end up in

hospital, be treated and

then discharge myself to

buy more drink.

Eventually to keep my

family happy I went to

Alcoholics Anonymous

and they finally gave me

the tools I needed to sort

myself out ."

"I once tried to cost out

how much I must have

cost and had to give up

because it ran into tens of

thousands of pounds - and

that's a conservative estimate."

While the cost to the

NHS and emergency services

alone is horrifying

Sharon is just as aware of

the unimaginable cost to

her family of her life of

addiction

"The effect on my family

was huge. My addiction

took over everything.

When I was in trouble

they would all stop working

to rally around and

help me. I'm so grateful

that they never gave up

and we're still so close."

With Sharon's history

of recovery and relapse it

is little wonder that her

family was dubious after

what she describes as her

'moment of clarity' which

came at 6am on March 18

2009 - a date which is forever

engrained in her

memory.

" I suddenly realised in

that one moment that

everything that had happened

to me was my own

fault and that I only had

myself to blame."

"For the first time ever

I poured drink away and I

haven't touched a drop

since that moment." said

Sharon.

Determined to this time

keep her promise to herself

as well as everyone

else Sharon set about convincing

everyone that her

worst years were behind

her.

"I'd been a serious

addict for about 13 years

and for the last four I had

been at rock bottom so I

had quite a job facing

me,"she said.

"I've spend the last

three years speaking to

people and apologising

for the way I behaved

with them. I don't expect

them to just forgive and

forget everything,

although a lot have, but

it's something that's

important for me."

Anxious to ensure that

her sobriety lasted Sharon

sought out something to

fill the void which alcohol

had once filled and decided

to start voluntary work

locally.

"I was lucky that not

many people knew me in

Abergavenny and not too

many people had seen me

at my worst so I was

given the benefit of the

doubt when I decided to

start volunteering with the

young people at Seven

Corners. I felt for the first

time that I could trust

myself and I can't explain

the sense of achievement

that gave me."

Spurred on by her success

working with young

people at Severn Corners

in Abergavenny, Sharon

offered her services at the

town's annual Ice Fair

where she met Lisa

Knight-Davies, who was

to become her closest

friend and confidante.

Together the two

woman planned and

organised the successful

X-Mas Factor events

which were to encourage

young people to follow

their dreams by performing

in front of a packed

Borough Theatre.

"It was the first time in

my life that I'd actually

seen something through,"

said Sharon "I was suddenly

doing things that I

didn't think I could ever

do without having a drink

and I'm still doing them."

Since her 'moment of

clarity' Sharon has

worked tirelessly to help

prevent young people in

Abergavenny and further

afield falling into the

downward spiral of

addiction in which she

found herself and it was

while working with

young people that she

realised that she was in a

perfect position to offer a

unique insight.

" I knew I could help in

a very different way

because like my doctor at

the Priory I had been

there before," said

Sharon, who is now the

driving force behind the

soon-to-be launched

w e b s i t e

BeenThereB4.co.uk

Sharon and Lisa

explained that the website

- which is to be

launched at next month's

Breakinout Festival at to

be held at Bailey Park in

Abergavenny, aims to

offer help, advice and

support to young people

who may be struggling

with issues surrounding

bullying, alcohol and

drugs.

"We hope the festival

will be a really good day

out for everyone but it

does have a serious side

which is the launch of the

website. We'll have

experts on hand to talk to

anyone who wants it and

many of the artists

involved will be taking

part in question and

answer sessions to highlight

the dangers of

addiction."

"We'll be handing out

wristbands with details of

the website so that people

will know it's there for

them to use. Many of the

people involved with the

helpline side of the site

will themselves have

been there before and

will be in a unique position

to offer help

"The website really

addresses all of those

'sliding door' moments

in my life where things

could have gone in a different

direction if I had

chosen a different road. It

brings together all the

threads of my life" said

Sharon.

"If I had been given a

way to cope with the bullying

I'd experienced

then maybe I wouldn't

have started drinking, or

if I had been offered more

positive role models I

wouldn't have turned to

drugs. What we're aiming

to do with the website

and the helpline is to

offer youngsters someone

who they can talk to

online and anonymously

who can offer them

straight-talking advice.

"For some it may prevent

them taking even the

first step, for others it

may be a way of helping

them towards recovery

and for those who, like

me for so much of the

time, aren't ready to take

the first step it can help

them deal with whatever

problem they are facing

at the moment.

"We can offer all sorts

of help from simply

someone to chat with to

ore practical solutions

like putting young people

in contact with the services

which can help

them. Even my mother

has said that she will

come on line and speak to

the parents of young people

to show them that

even though things look

bleak - and she should

know - you can come out

the other side."

"If I can stop one person

going down the road I

took then this will have

been a success," said

Sharon.

Even now after her

three years 'clean and

sober' Sharon still

describes herself as an

alcoholic.

"You're never cured, I

just chose not to have a

drink today. There are

times even now when I

have had a stressful day

and I think about drinking

but I say to myself

that I'll have one tomorrow.

When tomorrow

comes I never want one."

"Working with Lisa

and the team of volunteers

behind the festival

and the website, all of

whom are giving their

time for nothing, has

helped me so much and I

want to give something

back and I want to show

people who were in the

same state as me that

there is a way out"

"I know you can't save

everyone but there's no

harm in trying is there,"

added Sharon with a grin.