Observers fear Abergavenny is being plagued by existential dread after unsettling graffiti of a philosophical nature has been spotted in the sleepy little market town.

The question ‘Why?’ is as old as the hills. The simple three letter word has been the eternal plea of many a wretched soul who stares up at the heavens only to find the heavens are empty.

And now the word ‘Why?’ has seemingly wormed its way into the collective consciousness of Abergavenny and been emblazoned in bright red paint on the sight of a Brecon Road eyesore.

What can it all possibly mean? Has the town as a whole been asked to explain itself to a higher authority? Are we being interrogated for past transgressions against an unknown power? And in keeping with the existential theme, does anybody even care?

Semi-professional long-distance endurance runner Johnny Turnip does, and he believes the graffiti is epidemic of a much larger malaise that is crippling the town he loves.

In one of his periodic rambling rants Turnip told the Chronicle, “I’m seeing a lot of whinging in the ‘Gateway’ peeps and it’s sitting like a piece of undigested offal in this proud Aber boy’s gut. I’ve been witness a lot of change in the hood down the decades but that’s the nature of the beast.

“Personally speaking a man like Turnip has got no time to sit around and ask the question ‘Why.’ In any given situation the only question I ask of myself is, ‘What the hell am I going to do about it?’ But that’s probably because of my SAS training.”

An irate Turnip barked, “I’m hearing a lot of malcontents tap, tap, tapping on their keypads, moaning about this and moaning about that. And all I hear is, ‘Why did they have to do this? And ‘Why did that have to get rid of that.’ And, ‘Oh deary, dreary me, things are just not the same in the town as they used to be back in my day when we used to spend our time happily sitting in some puddle or other and eating coal. And now all that existential despair has manifested itself with some joker painting ‘Why?’ on a wall. As some sort of flashy artistic statement it might work but it’s really not good for tourism.”

Turnip added, “Personally I think it’s the work of a would-be Banksy trying to make a name for themselves with minimum effort, but whoever, or whatever it is, I think they’ve nailed the negative mood that’s crept into the town of late like a bad case of flatulence.

“Like my old mate Magic Marvin always said before the mushrooms got a bit too much for him and he spent his days slowly rotting away on a toxic diet of Facebook and economy burgers, ‘A change is always gonna come. The question is how you gonna deal with it?’

“As far as this Turnip is concerned, I’m not pretending to be the voice of Abergavenny, that would simply be absurd, but if anyone asks me ‘Why?’ to all the changes taking places in this town, I’m simply gonna reply, ‘Why not!’”