OK, I apologise. Unreservedly. The housemate really does do everything around the house.

After her dramatic tumble and subsequent trip to Nevill Hall last week I was relatively blasé about my ability to keep the household running in her usual style.

“Of course I can manage,” I said as she expressed her doubts over my competence. “I can do a bit of washing and run the Hoover over the place. I’ll be a domestic goddess in a day or so!”

“There’s a bit more to it than that,” she replied.

“It’ll be fine,” I said confident that things would go swimmingly.

“You’ll have to look after me as well,” she added pointing to her useless left arm.

“It’ll be fine,” I repeated with slightly less confidence than just a moment before.

“What are you doing with that?” demanded the housemate several hours later as I walked past her with a pile of dirty laundry in my arms.

“What do you think I’m doing? I replied with my caring nature already pushed its outer edge.

“It’s not washing day today,” she said in obvious panic.

“I’m pretty sure the new washing machine we’ve just bought doesn’t only work on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday,” I replied. “I think if I switch it on and add some washing powder it will work on any day of the week.”

“I know the machine will work but if you wash today you’ll have to iron tomorrow and…”

“And tomorrow isn’t ironing day,” I said rolling my eyes.

“It’s not that tomorrow isn’t ironing day, it’s that…”

Knowing where the conversation was going I cut her off in full flow. “Look for the next few weeks your routine is going to have to go out of the window and I will wash and iron and Hoover and dust whenever I can,” I said sternly.

“Ok, whatever,” she replied meekly as I loaded the washing into the machine and turned it on.

“I was only going to remind you that you’re working tomorrow evening so you won’t have time to do the washing and now it’ll be hanging around making the place look untidy for days when it could have been safely hidden away in the laundry basket.”

“You have to think of these things when you’re a domestic goddess,” she smirked.

“How are you getting on my lovely?” asked The Mother when she phoned for a condition update on the housemate that evening having been unable to visit having as her car had been in dry dock.

“It’s fine,” I replied too tired to elaborate further.

“I’ll come down in the morning because I’m having my car back so I'll pick up the ironing and do that for you because I don’t mind ironing while I’m watching TV,” she said.

“ Oh no you can’t do that,” I replied half-heartedly as the housemate shook her head.

Ten days on from her injury I caught the housemate on the landing throwing laundry over the banister.

“What are you doing?” I asked as she heaved the last armful over.

“I’m reclaiming the washing,” she replied. “It’s time we got a bit of routine back in this household!”