OVER the course of countless years, the housemate’s dodgy hearing has been the cause of many misunderstandings and much hilarity.

There is, of course always added potential for confusion when The Mother and her equally unpredictable hearing is added into the mix and I’ve spent many bizarre moments over holiday breakfasts as the two of them have entirely separate conversations with both believing they’re answering the other.

The two are invariably the first two up in the mornings and by the time I stagger downstairs hoping for a quiet breakfast with my book they are usually well into their second pot of tea and deep into the debate of the day.

While they both stridently express their opinions and agree and disagree with each other, it’s very rare that the two are talking about the same thing.

We had an equally strange conversation this week over breakfast as I read the housemate an online story about a controversy which emerged following Sunday night’s Bafta awards ceremony.

“So they’ve made a film about a chap with Tourette’s and he was in the audience,” I began to explain.

“They’ve made a film about that and he was actually there?” She asked in surprise.

“Yes, he was there,” I continued.

“I didn’t see anything about that film. You know I’d definitely watch that,” she replied with unusual enthusiasm.

“Would you?” I asked, slightly confused that someone who winces at bad language would want to watch a film about someone who swears uncontrollably.

“You know I would,” she replied. “I love films like that. It’s the sort of thing I watch when you’re not home and I can actually have control of the TV remote.”

“Really?” I asked in shock

“Really,” she replied. “You know that’s the sort of film I like because you always scoot past them really quickly when we’re looking for something to watch.”

“I haven’t heard anything about a film about a boy with two heads!”

“Tourette’s!” I shouted. “He’s got Tourette’s…you know that thing you give me!”

“Oh I thought you said it was a film about a boy with two heads.” “I know what you thought but there’s no film about a boy with two heads,” I said with a sigh abandoning all efforts to tell her about the original news report.

Later that evening, with nothing on TV we decided to flick through the streaming alternatives to ‘proper’ TV and lo and behold there among the countless documentaries about serial killers, crooked businessmen, dishonest politicians and paranormal happenings was a brand new film.

“There it is!” said the housemate in excitement.

“There what is?” I replied.

“The film about the boy with two heads. It’s called The Boy with Two Heads!”

Before I could roll my eyes and correct her I spotted the film she was pointing at with enthusiasm and realised with a sinking heart she was right.

“I’ve got to watch that when you go to work tomorrow,” she announced. “It’s fate. Who would believe that something I completely misheard could actually exist,” she added.

“Who would believe half the things that go on in my life?” I replied.