CRICKHOWELL’S High Street may have been voted the best in the UK but if there was a competition to see which town in Britain has the most artistic litter louts then surely old mother Abergavenny would be in the race.

If you want the proof and the pudding just check out this picture. It was snapped in Bailey Park by a concerned citizen on his way to the job centre.

The unemployed man explained, “I can’t believe it. What’s this town coming to? It’s not enough that these scumbags drop their litter here, there, and everywhere, they’re now rubbing it in our face by building castles made of rubbish on benches paid for out of the pockets of hard-working councillors. It beggars belief! I was so outraged I took a picture to name and shame them on the nearest Facebook community site. I just hope someone picks it up and puts it a bin real soon. It could cause a lot of damage to the local hedgehog community you know. It’s not art its rubbish.”

The towering testament to cider drinkers everywhere was also spotted by semi-professional endurance athlete Johnny Turnip during his 6.30am boot camp sessions in the Park.

Turnip explained, “I’m all for drinking myself sensless on park benches, it’s one of my favourite pastimes, but come on boys pick it up and bin it.”

Turnip added, “To be honest I wasn’t surprised to see the people responsible had been necking Strongbow Dark Fruit. It’s nasty stuff. I’m strictly a Stella man myself.”

Although it might be tempting to dismiss the castle made out of discarded cans as a simply the work of a drunken mind lacking in civic responsibility, one high-minded dog-walker believes it can be viewed as a piece of conceptual art on the same level as Andy Warhol’s soup cans or coca-coca bottles.

Professor Amory Blaine of the Mardy Institute of Power Through Positive Thinking begs to differ, and explained, “These discarded cans of Strongbow Dark Fruit are evidence of a particularly vile and invasive species whose Latin name is Pigsloth Swineitus.

Pigsloth Swineitus. is thought to be native to Britain and is more commonly known as the littering loutus.

The creature whose natural habitat is a dark and dank corner where no sunlight can encroach upon their unclean habits, has multiplied in great number during recent years.

There is now thought to be no city, town, or village in the UK which has not be tainted by their odious tread and bovine malevolence.

The standard pattern of the Pigsloth Swineitus is to descend in festering hordes upon a remote spot of great beauty and instinctively spoil and defile it with their detestable taint.

The ugliness they leave in their wake is the calling card of the species.

Their curious selfishness and twisted sense of entitlement are not easily explained by biology, psychology, nature or nurture.

Their imbecilic inability to pick up or clean up after themselves has puzzled many an expert who has studied the terrible trail of ruin and rot they leave in their putrid wake.

Experts believe that the plague of the Pigsloth Swineitus is best combated with three sage words of advice - “KEEP WALES TIDY!”