Is it only me or are TV adverts getting more and more explicit? We all know certain conditions exist and by no means should anyone feel embarrassed or shamed by them…but do we really need to see then graphically illustrated while we’re having our tea?

As one of the millions of childless women across the UK I can honestly say I didn’t know that a ‘push poo’ existed…and I can equally honestly say I felt no desire to ever find out that it did. Having never given birth I don’t know this for a fact but I’m pretty certain if I had squeezed out a living being after hours of agony - as witnessed only by having to endure watching Call the Midwife for a decade - the last thing on my mind would be the brand of toilet paper I was about to be offered as a consequence of my ‘push poo’!

And don’t get me started about the various test tubes of multi-coloured fluid needed to illustrate those ‘oh my gush moments’ which nobody really needs to know about.

Equally I really don’t need to know about the woman who can’t complete a downward dog without ‘letting a bit of pee out’ but who thanks to a pair of paper knickers is happy to sit on her husband’s head to watch a pop concert while being congratulated by her supportive group of female friends whose husbands are sensible enough to not hoist them aloft….or more likely have been caught out at a previous gig.

Can it only be me who’s caught themselves walking along the street happily humming a tune only to realise I’m singing about ‘heartburn, nausea, upset stomach’ and ‘diarrhoeeeeaaaa’ or who has had in-depth discussions over dinner about whether the yoga lady has issues with her ‘baggy pee pants’, her ‘saggy pee pads’ or her ‘boggy pee pads’ - thanks to The Mother for that delightful debate which had us all reaching for the pink medicine we’d just been singing about.

I’m sure there are those who will argue that the adverts are designed to remove the perceived stigma of the conditions they highlight or eliminate the taboo of talking about certain health issues and I’m all for that…just not when I’m having my egg and chips.

Am I the only one who longs for the old days when you could hum the advert for Fruit and Nut and people assumed you were cultured enough to go to the ballet or when the new Milk Tray man ad was welcomed with the all excitement of the latest James Bond film and the most graphic sight before the watershed was the lady eating a Flake in the bath.

Back in the day even the ‘intimate adverts’ had a certain discretion - I well remember a young relative belting out ‘Ohhh Bodyform…Bodyform for you’ at the top of her voice when asked to do a turn at a family party now I can’t even look at Action Man and Barbie without seeing them seeking pharmaceutical aid for problems in the boudoir!