WITH a week off looming I decided it was a good time to turn my attention to a corner of the garden which could do with a bit of a facelift so I looked to the internet for some design inspiration.

After many hours of discussion and debate the housemate and I settled on a design which was appropriate for the space and we were almost likely to be able to recreate without making too much of a dog’s dinner of it.

Part of the design involved a large metal screen which having failed to find anywhere locally I decided to order online, something I don’t normally like to do.

My early concerns were allayed where the owner of the company I was dealing with was responsive and helpful, promising my panel would arrive within just a few days.

It didn’t.

After giving it few days benefit of the doubt I decided it was time to chase the delivery company.

“Ahhh…we’re really sorry but your item has been delivered to the wrong depot,” explained the helpful lady on the computer helpline I contacted.

“We’ll need to get it re-delivered to the right depot and then it’ll be with you,” she added.

“It might be Monday, but it might take three working days so it might be Wednesday.”

“Well let’s hope it’s Monday as it’s already a week late,” I pointed out.

Monday came and predictably enough my metal panel didn’t.

“They did say it would probably be Wednesday,” I said to the housemate.

Wednesday came and went with no sign of a metal panel so I braced myself for the inevitable agony of a session with the delivery company’s ‘live chat’.

“ We’re really sorry. I can advise you that your item has been delivered and scanned at the wrong depot,” came the eventual reply.

“I know that. You told me that on Friday,” I replied. “What I need to know now is when it’d going to be delivered to me.”

“I can advise you that the problem with that is that your item was scanned at Birmingham and not Bristol. I can rebook this for you. However it would need to be rebooked two days ahead. Wrongly scanned items will need to be transferred to the correct depot. This process can take up to two days and I can advise that as your item hasn’t been scanned within two days you will need to contact the seller to resolve this.”

“Ok, so let’s see if I’ve got this right,” I replied. “I’m supposed to tell you two days in advance that you’ve lost my item so you can rescan it in the depot where it’s not supposed to be and send it to the one where it is supposed to be but because I didn’t do that, you now don’t know where it is.”

“Please accept our apologies. I can advise that I would be unable to advise as I don’t have that information. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

I won’t publish my reply!

In an effort to console ourselves we headed out to a local garden centre and found the exact panel we’d been searching for. It was delivered yesterday!