LIKE a flying saucer from a distant galaxy, an abandoned tyre has somehow made its way down Castle Meadows and set up home on the banks of the River Usk.

The concern our rubber visitor has generated amongst Abergavenny’s residents is palpable.

As tires go, it’s a big one and hordes of vexed Abertonions have asked how it got there, where it came from, and who will remove it?

As a newspaper, we don’t have the answers, only questions.

So we asked the council, who said they’d ask ChatGPT and provide a response within three to four working days.

We asked Welsh Water, but they denied all knowledge.

We asked social media, but it quickly turned into a fierce argument about what country of origin the tyre was from.

We asked a farmer who said he was in “no moooood” to talk.

We asked the schools but the schools are shut.

We asked the church, but the churches are empty.

We asked the hospital, but they told us to wait.

We asked Gwent Police communications team, but they wanted the exact time and date the tyre turned up, and if possible, its full name and date of birth, before they could possibly look into it.

Tyre
Is this the first of many tyres we can expect to flood the area? (Abergavenny Chronicle )

We asked the actual police, but they were all in McDonald's.

We asked South Wales Fire Service, but they were all up a mountain doing proper work.

We asked a group of teenagers, but they were “tyred” of taking the blame for everything.

We asked IPSO, and they gave us some guidelines.

We asked a dog walker who said, “You bag it! You bin it!”

We asked the Arts Council of Wales, and they said it could be an ongoing project.

We asked the Anglers Association, but they refused to take the bait.

We asked a politician, and they gave us a speech.

We asked a social media influencer, but they were too busy taking selfies with the tyre.

We asked Keep Wales Tidy, and they replied “Rubbish!”

And so now, dear readers, we are asking you. Where did this tyre come from? Pop your answers on a postcard and clearly mark it, “Somewhere over the rainbow!” And someone will pick it up in due course.