VISITORS to the little patch of green that lies between the River Gavenny and the Ross Road encountered something a little different last week.

Standing proud and aloof amongst the discarded dog crap in neon green bags, the discarded energy drink cans, and the dubious items of discarded clothing was what in old money we used to call a bin.

For those too young or challenged to remember, a bin used to be the place where we disposed of rubbish before throwing it out of car windows or artfully placing it in beauty spots.

Bins were all the rage when self-respect and civic pride were a thing, but in recent years, thanks to a surge in self-obsession, rank entitlement, and a complete lack of aesthetic or awareness of any sort, they are not so popular.

However, it appears that the powers that be are hoping to change all that by installing one of these old-fashioned artefacts in a popular dog park beloved by dog walkers and teenagers.

Whether it'll catch on is anyone's guess. When asked by the Chronicle what it was, one passerby assumed it was some sort of weird Tardis for a low-rent version of Doctor Who that involved hobbits.

Another suggested it was one of those things we used to put emails in before we had computers.

Yet another believed it was a place we used to sit to make our mobile phones work when the smart technology was still in its infancy.

It is, in fact, a place for all that is unsavoury, redundant, and rank in this world. And no, it's not the campaign headquarters for the Green Party, but something called a litter bin.

Yet more than that, it is the first line of defence in an ongoing war against a particularly vile and invasive species whose Latin name is Pigsloth Swineitus.

Pigsloth Swineitus. is thought to be native to Britain and is more commonly known as the littering loutus.

The creature whose natural habitat is a dark and dank corner where no sunlight can encroach upon their unclean habits has multiplied in great numbers during recent years.

There is now thought to be no city, town, or village in the UK which has not been tainted by their odious tread and bovine malevolence.

The standard pattern of the Pigsloth Swineitus is to descend in festering hordes upon a remote spot of great beauty and instinctively spoil and defile it with their detestable taint.

The ugliness they leave in their wake is the calling card of the species.

Their curious selfishness and twisted sense of entitlement are not easily explained by biology, psychology, nature or nurture.

Their imbecilic inability to pick up or clean up after themselves has puzzled many an expert who has studied the terrible trail of ruin and rot they leave in their putrid wake.

Experts believe that the plague of the Pigsloth Swineitus is best combated with three sage words of advice - “KEEP WALES TIDY!”