Dragons! Depending on who you speak to, they can either represent all that is noble, courageous, and pure in a person, or they can be gold-hoarding, smooth-talking snakes, that will kill you as casually as yawning.

Here in Wales, we identify deeply with the dragon, and so we tend to see them more as proud and fierce, but essentially moral beasts, as opposed to treacherous psychopaths from fiction, such as the Hobbit’s Smaug.

Truth be told, for all of our debate about dragons, they may not even be real. Yet an Abergavenny man claims that dragons not only exist, but his friend was possessed by one.

Semi-professional paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip told the Chronicle that in his experience, dragons break all existing stereotypes of what a dragon should be.

He explained, “They can be a bit of nightmare, but not in a cold-hearted killer way. More, in a sense that your mate with a drinking problem and underlying mental health difficulties can be a bit of a handful.”

Turnip explained that he first became aware that a dragon was inhabiting his mate Big Tony’s mortal frame when he began discussing the finer points of rugby in comparison to American Football.

“Big Tony has never been the sharpest tool in the box, and so when he began intellectualising sport, I knew something was up,” said Turnip.

“That ‘something’ was my mate being possessed by a creature as old as time and twice as mental.”

Turnip added, “At first, the fact that Tony’s mind had been completely taken over by another entity wasn’t a problem. He just tagged along with the rest of us as the Man with No Game led us to the final resting place of Potato Creek Johnny’s pot of fairy gold.

“He was quiet, but that’s not unusual for Tony. His eyeballs had also disappeared in the back of his head, but again, that also happens when he’s overdone it on the party pills.

“It was when he began roaring like the girl from the Exorcist and his skin took on a green tint, I thought, ‘Here we go again!’”

Turnip told the Chronicle that the Man with No Game didn’t seem phased by Big Tony’s strange behaviour and merely put it down to him being Welsh.

“As I mentioned, he carried himself with a heavy Clint Eastwood vibe, so you could self-combust in front of him and be lucky if he raised a solitary eyebrow. Plus, he was about to fulfil the destiny that he had been born and bred for, and that was to give me what was mine - the pot!”

Turnip explained that after leading them to the outskirts of Wales, the small town, and not the country, they came to a solitary oak tree, all gnarled and aged, and it was here they began digging for the gold.

Turnip said, “Luckily for us, the Man with No Game had a shovel and was quite happy to dig as we stood around smoking, all except Tyke, who started lecturing us about how fags made the skin look haggard.

“‘I’d rather look haggard than plastic!” Snarked Puerto Rico Paul as he sucked deep on his Lambert.

“‘In response, Tyke just started necking mineral water out of a bottle and shaking his head furiously. As an ageing Hollywood heartthrob, Tyke was obsessed with staying young, and his face was loaded with fillers. But although all that botox and surgery ironed the wrinkles out, in a weird way, it made him look even more worn out. Kind of like a vampire who was never getting enough blood. It’s a shame to see Tyke fall so low, but denial will do terrible things to a man.

“Anyhow, as Tyke began doing press-ups and chanting ‘Who’s dangerous?’ To himself in a manic and high-pitched voice, I noticed that Big Tony was not only enjoying his puff, but he had also begun to breathe fire, after every drag on his fag.

“‘Cool trick, big man!’ Observed Puerto Rico Paul with evident wonder.

“Blowing smoke rings was always the kind of thing that had impressed us deeply, and to see Big Tony breathing fire was something of an iconic moment.

“‘When did you learn how to do that Tone?’ Asked Paul. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that our friend was possessed by a reptile.

“‘I have breathed fire since the sun was but a spark. It is my defining element, and the weapon I shall use to rid this world of the AI scourge.’ Said Tony in a voice that sounded like waves made of Laurence Olivier crashing against the shore.

“‘Whoa there, dragon!’ I said. ‘You can’t just defeat the singularity with fire and brimstone. We need to tread carefully. The plan is to use the gold to slay this god of zeroes and ones. We haven’t come this far, just for you to steal our thunder and kill the lead villain in the final scene. You’re just here for the mythical angle.’

“‘I am here to save the world!’ Roared the dragon. ‘It has long been written that I will return to aid humanity in their darkest hour. That hour approaches. The gold alone won’t be enough to defeat that which hunts you. You need a being forged in the furnace, a creation of pure form and light. I am that creature, and when the time is right, I will manifest in all my glory, and you will look upon me and know my name is dragon!’

“‘So dragon is actually your name?’ Asked a bemused Puerto Rico Paul.

“As Big Tony turned in Paul’s direction, his eyes, which were still all white and lacked pupils, flashed green, and he roared, ‘I am the first and the last of my kind. I am dragon. No other name can contain or bind me. My soul is fire, and my nature is purification.’

“‘Ok dragon!’ I said, as I went to pat Tony on the head, but thought better of it. ‘The more help we can get, the better. This gothic clown we’re up against won’t go down easily.’”

Turnip added, “Just as I was about to discuss battle tactics with the dragon, I heard the Man with No Game stop his digging and exclaim, ‘You boys are gonna wanna see this!’”

To be continued….