Outbreak of Pigsloth Swineitus hits Abergavenny

By Tim Butters in Local People

EVIDENCE of a particularly vile and invasive species was found in the tranquil surrounds of Abergavenny Castle Meadows this week.

The species whose latin name is Pigsloth Swineitus is thought to be native to Britain and is more commonly known as the littering loutus.

The creature whose natural habitat is a dark and dank corner where no sunlight can encroach upon their unclean habits, has multiplied in great number during recent years.

There is now thought to be no city, town, or village in the UK which has not be tainted by their odious tread and bovine malevolence.

The standard pattern of the Pigsloth Swineitus is to descend in festering hordes upon a remote spot of great beauty, and instinctively spoil and defile it with their detestable taint.

The ugliness they leave in their wake is the calling card of the species.

Their curious selfishness and twisted sense of entitlement is not easily explained by biology, psychology, nature or nurture.

Their imbecilic inability to pick up or clean up after themselves has puzzled many an expert who has studied the terrible trail of ruin and rot they leave in their putrid wake.

Experts believe that the plague of the Pigsloth Swineitus is best combated with three sage words of advice - “KEEP WALES TIDY!”

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